Transmission - I Have Just Two Questions For You...

So why did you get into Malifaux?

What games have you played before?

This is probably the tabletop gaming equivalent of name, rank and number. At some point it's likely that you would have been asked these questions and maybe your answer to the former has been something along the lines of storyline/miniatures/a change for the 'usual' games. You may have come from other well-known TTG such as Warhammer, 40K, Warmachines or Hordes.

However, have a real think... Why did you get into Malifaux?


Growing Older, Not Growing Up

My gaming history, as alluded to in my very first post, was a majority of Games Workshop and a bit of Warmahordes. My interest started when I was a lot younger. I distinctly remember wandering into my local Games Workshop store as I was looking for a PS1 game and didn't realise at the time that that wasn't the 'Games' that the store title referred to. I remember being fascinated by what was going on and even though I quickly left with embarrassment the first time, I returned soon after for a proper investigation. A quick demo game of Space Hulk and then Warhammer Fantasy and I was hooked.

For a few years, I stood firm with WHF along with my best friend who also discovered the hobby at roughly the same time. During secondary school, my interests were diverted somewhat by trying to attract the attention of lovely females and Warhammer gradually fell off the radar.

Fast forward to a few years ago. I was walking past a local Games Workshop and for some unknown reason (fate?) I decided to pop in to see what had changed. After chatting to the staff member there, old feelings were rekindled and a starter paint set with 10 Goblins was purchased. I remember telling my then-fiance now-wife about my purchase, and I was so lucky that instead of scoffing at such childish endeavours, she was pleased that I had my hobby back and was supportive of me taking over the kitchen table for painting. Months and years pass, my collection of paints, models and general kit grows massively. However, there is a seed of a problem beginning to sprout...

You Can Never Go Home

I began to notice that certain aspects of the hobby I had loved as a child seemed different as a man in his 20s. I couldn't get enough of painting and converting the models, but gaming was a different story. Rules had changed over time and I didn't have a clue how to actually play with the models I owned. So I tried the following, with the same result;

Not shown: "For GW starter games"

• A starter game at my local Games Workshop - as a grown man surrounded by kids (and the only other grown man was to be whooping excitedly and making far too many sound effects that, whilst the kids loved, I found a bit too much) I was not comfortable and NOT HAPPY.
• A starter game down my local club - as a grow man, and thus expected to actually know what the rules are and what my models do, I was picked apart by a much more experienced played and my 'demo game' led to be being tabled, and as a result, I was NOT HAPPY.

What had happened? This wasn't the same hobby I remembered. Had I changed that much or had the hobby?

Other cracks began to show. It was getting harder to justify the costs to my wife for a box of minis (£30) and the paints and brushes required to paint said unit (£buttloads) just for them to sit on the shelf. I began using the same technique she now uses on me and shaving up to a tenner off the reported price when asked 'How much did that cost you?'

Games Workshop wasn't the same as I remembered, and I felt like I had to change.

The Other White Meat

GW have such a strong presence in the high street that is hard to shake. Indeed, when you tell people that you paint minis, they will usually comment along the lines of, 'What, you mean those Games Workshop things?' But with a deep breath, I ventured to somewhere I'd never dared before, the Local Gaming Store.

Looking through the shelves reminded me of that first time I walked into a GW store. I rummaged through names that were unfamiliar to me; Flames Of War, Hordes, Warmachine... I asked the store owner about the latter and he said that, by luck, the local Warmahordes rep was in store and did I want a demo game? Why not, I thought?

Warmachine was a revelation. A match played with less than a dozen minis instead of the hundreds plus that WHFB demanded. Great looking minis, and metal too which I loved! I settled into the game and tried to absorb all I was being told. The game felt more grown up and it was good to see the rep and other nearby players being in roughly the same age bracket as myself! I began to enjoy the game and had already picked out in my mind the Skorne starter set I had seen on the shelf.

Another player wandered over and sat down by the edge of our table. I had no idea who this person was but the rep gave him a nod of recognition, which the newcomer returned. He pulled a takeaway box out of his bag and plonked it on the edge of our gaming table (on the actually gaming space; I guess it could have counted as difficult terrain?) and proceeded to tuck into a takeaway roast turkey dinner. I was baffled. The rep was continuing on regardless so I tried to ignore the awkwardness of this intruder and tried to focus on the game.

"Don't do that," the new chap said, mouth full of potatoes. Apparently I had conducted a Warmachine faux pas.

"He's a noob, we're just having a test game," said the rep (he actually said 'noob').

Takeaway Man continued to point out why everything I had done so far was wrong and there was no way I could win. Two points to remember; he said all this to the rep, ignoring me totally and he was still putting food in his mouth whilst he talked which is f***ing disgusting.

The rep and this git were soon arguing about rules so I made an excuse about meeting the wife, thanked the rep and slipped away, pausing to buy the Skorne kit on the way out.

Shaky Foundations

Despite the atrocious start, there was a lot I liked about Warmachines & Hordes. The books and art was gorgeous and the minis were very smart indeed. I thought that once I had my Skorne kit painted and good to go, I would show my face with pride at the LGS and go for round two sans the disgusting troll with the cranberry in his beard.

Easier said than done.

I have since discovered that assembling the metal starter kit for Skorne is one of the trickiest feats to pull off for beginners to metal kits. The arms of two of the characters could quite easily have come from another kit and the main piece took so much green stuff to fill gaps that the model was more putty than metal by the time I was done. I was pissed off. I don't spend money on models to finish doing the sculptors job for them. I like a bit of converting but if I can't even put the damn things together then I frankly can't be bothered with anything else.

To summarise, terrible first game experience, horrible models to assemble and angry Jack. 

Warmachines out.

I know that many people have had much better experiences and love the Warmahordes universe, but this is my experience and it was completely off-putting. Admittedly, I could have tried a different kit and had a better time assembling, but at the time I was done trying.

Everyone Loves Dead Hookers

I was left at a bit of a loose end. Games Workshop had lost it's shine for me and Warmahordes had been a bad experience where it should have been a positive one (especially considering I had the local rep to demo the first game!). During this time, I bought odd kits and models and painted them up. I loved the painting aspect of the hobby but wished I had a army, a game, a company I could get behind. 

Then I found out about the dead hookers. 

SFW hooker picture. You're welcome.

I know since that many Henchman will use the example of Seamus and his dead hooker crew as an intro to Malifaux as, let's face it, it's fairly unique!

I found out about Malifaux as it was a link I hadn't clicked on yet on the Wayland Games site. I was intrigued by the models; I hadn't seen such creative and colourful characters that weren't covered in guns or shoulder pads. I looked through every page and every model and was enthralled. From there, I looked at the Wyrd website and was blown away. The newspaper layout was so cool and reading the little stories brought the characters to life. I eventually ordered a Lilith crew set as an experiment in assembling and painting. I confess that there were minor difficulties in gluing everything together but nothing that a little brute force didn't fix. After a coat of paint, they looked fab. Not through the paint job, but in the character of the models. Lilith twirling her hair through her fingers whilst lazily brandishing her sword was genius.

A big tick for the models, but what was the game like? And the people who played it?

Well, I have since read the rules a fair few times, courtesy of the free download from the Wyrd site (take that GW) and have been lurking on the forums for a long time before recently signing up and making myself known. It's incredible just how friendly the players are and how welcoming they are for noobs like myself. They made me feel totally welcome and I look forward to taking up the offer for a first proper demo match with my new crew; the Guild's finest, Lady J and Co. 

Many thanks for reading this far; I know it's been a mammoth post! I'd love to hear your comments or stories on how you came into this hobby and what brought you to where you are today.

I want to thank the following; @doctorloxley for introducing me to everyone, @jdmickleburgh and @OldManMyke for making me feel so welcome and the rest of the Malifaux Twitterati! Follow them or me at @jackdv and thanks again for reading!

-Jack